new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize