My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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