Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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