So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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