We're facebook friends in real life
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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