Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
