i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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