Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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