By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
