Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
