he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
