sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize