Someone shit on the floor
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You're like the curious george of whores
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize