think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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