so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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