Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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