As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
