i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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