Tell her she can't have a vagina
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
