I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
