She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
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Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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