lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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