im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
