just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize