He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We just shotgunned beers for America
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
