it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize