I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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