IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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