so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
