Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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