I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
