I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
