super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize