just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
