I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Buhtt sex?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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