He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
