Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
