I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
