i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
