i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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