I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
