Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
