I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize