i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
