What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You ruined the universe
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
