oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just forgot I was standing up.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
