You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
