I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
