Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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