how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize