i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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