I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
