I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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