Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
