that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
