My first STD was from a foam party
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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