you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
