Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
