you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
