Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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