If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
