you should give me head with plastic fangs in
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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