i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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