so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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