How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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