I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
